Common Grief Symptoms in Pet Loss

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The Blue Willow Groups
of New World Christian Ministries

Common Grief Symptoms

Although grief responses, in general, differ from one person to another, there are many predictable expressions of grief. These expressions occur on physical, intellectual, emotional, social, and spiritual levels. Before, during, and after loss, grief may appear in several of the following forms.

Physical: crying, sobbing, wailing, shock and numbness, dry mouth, a lump in the throat, shortness of breath, stomach ache or nausea, tightness in the chest, restlessness, fatigue, exhaustion, sleep disturbance, appetite disturbance, body aches, stiffness of joints or muscles, dizziness or fainting.

Intellectual: denial, sense of unreality, confusion, inability to concentrate, feeling preoccupied by the loss, experiencing hallucinations concerning the loss (visual, auditory, and olfactory), a need to reminisce about the loved one and talk about the circumstances of the loss, a sense that time is passing very slowly, a desire to rationalize or intellectualize feelings about the loss, thoughts or fantasies about suicide (not accompanied by concrete plans or behaviors).

Emotional: sadness, anger, depression, guilt, anxiety, relief, loneliness, irritability, a desire to blame others for the loss, resentment, embarrassment, self-doubt, lowered self-esteem, feelings of being overwhelmed or out-of-control, feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, feelings of victimization, giddiness, affect that is inappropriate for the situation (nervous smiles and laughter).

Social: feelings of withdrawal, isolation and alienation, a greater dependence on others, a rejection of others, rejection by others, a reluctance to ask others for help, change in friends or in living arrangements, a desire to relocate or move, a need to find distractions from the intensity of grief (to stay busy or to over-commit to activities).

Spiritual: bargaining with God in an attempt to prevent loss, feeling angry at God when loss occurs, renewed or shaken religious beliefs, feelings of being either blessed or punished, searching for a meaningful interpretation of a loved one's death, paranormal visions or dreams concerning a dead loved one, questioning whether or not souls exist and wondering what happens to loved ones after death, the need "to finish business" with a purposeful ending or closure to the relationship (a funeral, memorial service, last rites ceremony, good-bye ritual).

Adapted From Argus Institute for Families and Veterinary Medicine, Colorado State University Veterinary Teaching Hospital

Some biblical references of use during this time of heartache are from both the Old Testament and New Testament of God's Holy Word. These are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version (Ž International Bible Society):

	Psalm 31:9-10 Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief. My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak.
	Proverbs 18:14 A man's spirit sustains him in sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?
	2 Corinthians 4:16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Through outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

The Blue Willow Groups
c/o New World Christian Ministries
P. O. Box 1262
Bellingham, WA 98227 USA

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	Physical: crying, sobbing, wailing, shock and numbness, dry mouth, a lump in the throat, shortness of breath, stomach ache or nausea, tightness in the chest, restlessness, fatigue, exhaustion, sleep disturbance, appetite disturbance, body aches, stiffness of joints or muscles, dizziness or fainting.
	Intellectual: denial, sense of unreality, confusion, inability to concentrate, feeling preoccupied by the loss, experiencing hallucinations concerning the loss (visual, auditory, and olfactory), a need to reminisce about the loved one and talk about the circumstances of the loss, a sense that time is passing very slowly, a desire to rationalize or intellectualize feelings about the loss, thoughts or fantasies about suicide (not accompanied by concrete plans or behaviors).
	Emotional: sadness, anger, depression, guilt, anxiety, relief, loneliness, irritability, a desire to blame others for the loss, resentment, embarrassment, self-doubt, lowered self-esteem, feelings of being overwhelmed or out-of-control, feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, feelings of victimization, giddiness, affect that is inappropriate for the situation (nervous smiles and laughter).
	Social: feelings of withdrawal, isolation and alienation, a greater dependence on others, a rejection of others, rejection by others, a reluctance to ask others for help, change in friends or in living arrangements, a desire to relocate or move, a need to find distractions from the intensity of grief (to stay busy or to over-commit to activities).
	Spiritual: bargaining with God in an attempt to prevent loss, feeling angry at God when loss occurs, renewed or shaken religious beliefs, feelings of being either blessed or punished, searching for a meaningful interpretation of a loved one's death, paranormal visions or dreams concerning a dead loved one, questioning whether or not souls exist and wondering what happens to loved ones after death, the need "to finish business" with a purposeful ending or closure to the relationship (a funeral, memorial service, last rites ceremony, good-bye ritual).